When my periods late:

• me: shit what if i'm pregnant?
• me: after all the talks about protection
• me: how am I going to tell my mom?
• *1 minute later*
• me: oh wait i'm a virgin.
• me: unless...
• me: unless I was in a pool and someone jacked off in there
• me: oh god i'm pregnant
• me: how am I going to explain this